A miracle in lots of words.

This is one of those points in writing this blog where I go beneath the surface. I do not want this to be a surface blog full of pretty crafts, pictures of our animals, things I wear, and the like. I don't want to give women/girls another blogger to compare themselves to because we know that all comparison is detrimental in some way. I'd like to share a 6 year struggle.

I could not pray out loud. Not in to myself. Not in front of my hubby. Not even in a group of Jesus followers that I didn't even know (may sound strange but praying in front of people you know seems way more stressful than people who have no expectations of you - i.e. I am afraid of being judged). I pray in my head like all day but out loud, to others?! No way!

I heard this spoken this week by one of our pastors on a podcast from last week's sermon and then I went to a prayer gathering for our city and he repeated this which I found is from Dallas Willard's book A Divine Conspiracy which honestly I would never read because its cover is ugly. Shame, I know. Anyways....

"...God's response to our prayers is not a charade. He does not pretend that he is answering our prayer when he is only doing what he was going to do anyway. Our requests really do make a difference in what God does or does not do. The idea that everything would happen exactly as it does regardless of whether we pray or not is a specter that haunts the minds of many who sincerely profess belief in God. It makes prayer psychologically impossible, replacing it with dead ritual at best. And of course God does not respond to this. You wouldn't either."

Sadly, I had fallen deeply into that psychological quicksand. I couldn't bring myself to pray because it seemed well, a dead ritual. Even after all the sermons I've heard on praying, the miracles I've seen, etc., I still just lumped these things into a "Well, that was just supposed to happen, it didn't really matter that they prayed," thinking. I'm an efficiency expert and it seemed a waste of time to pray, I mean come on, He was gonna do what He was gonna do.

Then, at that prayer meeting I prayed out loud in a group of 6 with some people I knew including my hubby and others I had never seen before and man, it was empowering. And not just once but, twice! I felt tingly and excited and I am surprised I even remember what I prayed. 6 years, it took me 6 years to do that? Man, I'm stubborn! But, God works miracles and the many that have been praying for me can finally see the light but, don't stop praying please!

In these next few weeks I hope to process other things that have been stirring in my heart and share with you all. It has been a rather life changing week and proudly I will say that God put Ashley Judd's book All That is Bitter is Sweet in my life at the very right point. It's an amazing book about struggle with abuse and neglect and what she does with it. Just go read it. 

In other news, we have a new sponsor son, Joshua, who lives at Mattaw Children's Village in Kitale, Kenya. Go read about them HERE and sponsor a child please!!

post signature


Guest Bedroom Redo

I spent Saturday working on a surprise house project. Josh had to work and I really was having an itch to do something around the house. We had discussed painting the guest room a few days before and I showed Josh some paint samples I was thinking of using in the room but, not much more discussion was done about this. I started off wanting light green as an accent wall with grey as the main color, then for a night I thought I wanted sea foam green, and then at home depot getting paint I changed my mind and got a different light green then any of the samples I had. I took some pictures with my iPhone so they are not the best but, you can get the gist from them. 
Whoops, just noticed I didn't take any before pictures but, envision a room with 4 white walls and furniture.

It's funny how painting a room and added some pretties to it makes the house feel more alive. Hubby agrees too so I must be right about it!
post signature


Sick Doggie Makes me Sad

Our happy, crazy, energetic, gotta lick something at all times puppy, Mishka, has been sick since Saturday night and it's so so sad to watch. Luckily, in the grand scheme of things she will be fine but, she has been so pathetic and needy and it gets to my heart. 

She only has energy to sleep so I got together her favorite comforter and she snuggled right up and went to sleep, all day! Healing is hard work!
One of the kitties must have made contact with Mishka's eye during their daily boxing matches and ruptured her cornea just like that. We think the cat's nail was dirty (eww, aren't they always?!) and it not only scratched Mishka's eye but, also made it get very infected. If your know our cats, you know that Wednesday has 7 nails on both front paws and he can throw some nasty blows so I'm guessing it was him. 

Anyways, she's on 1 eye drop every hour and another eye drop every 4 hours plus she's taking a pill every 8 hours. This has been keeping momma very busy and luckily after Sunday the drops went to every 8 hours so I didn't have to leave work. 

She's been sleeping like 20 out of 24 hours for the past 2 days now and still can't keep that eye open for more than a few seconds. Her temp is coming down but, 103 is still not great! We are hoping she picks up back to her normal self real soon. 

Hopefully she has learned her lesson about those darned cats and their claws but, I doubt it. 
post signature


Off to Maine

I visited my home state of Maine this past week and spent some good quality time with my family. It's hard being 3000 miles away from my entire family so visits like these are super special. Unfortunately, the visits can be kind of short but, I'm thankful to see family no matter what! I was very bad and didn't take many pictures and the ones I did take are not the best quality but enjoy!
One: My brother holding Colton who is his girlfriend's baby (not his).
Two: I spent a good 4 hours with my mom going through childhood items. I will have over 100 beanie babies arrive at my house in the next few days. Also got my American Girl Doll and some stuffed animals that were special to me. 
Three: My dad's dog Truman. He weighs 90 pounds and thinks he's a lap dog.
Four: My dad's younger dog Edward. I call him wiggles because he is always wiggling. 
Five: My mom with Colton.
Six: I caught my mom driving the tractor in her pajamas! (sorry mom haha)

I had a blast and miss everyone so much!   
 post signature


These Babies Need You

I don't have much to post about today and not a lot of time to put something together as I'm working from home today. But, please, please, please consider changing these little babies lives!! This video was created by a momma and her kiddos as part of their homeschool project. This momma and her entire family will be moving to Kenya soon to be a huge part of Mattaw Children's Village. They are looking for 75 sponsors in 75 days and YOU can make a difference for these kids! Contact me for any info you may want. Oh, and get ready to cry.

post signature